Gunnery Sergeant Hartman said to the marines, “If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training... you will be a weapon, you will be a minister of death, praying for war. But until that day you are pukes! You're the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings! You are nothing but unorganized grabasstic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard, but I am fair! Here you are all equally worthless! And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps! Do you maggots understand that?” (From the movie Full Metal Jacket)
If you believe you are a maggot before trying to change your life around, you made need a different type of coach. But if you came to boot camp to receive something, you won’t leave, you will adapt and push through.
According to the military, you don’t need self esteem to make a revolution in thinking. These tactics have been used for decades to push men to the limits. The reason is…because they work. Can you imagine trying to make a soldier with a soft voice and hugs?
What might work better: “Oh, you didn't finish the obstacle course in less than five minutes? That’s okay sweetheart, you’ll do better next time. You gave it your best shot and that is what counts…”
The most productive might be “You fucking lazy maggot, you get your ass over that wall in 2 seconds or else I will chop your fucking dick off…” chances are, you would get it done…
This week I came across a letter that was directed to Jillian Michaels from the TV Show “Biggest Loser”. For the letter, visit the website here. I have been thinking about this letter all week.
In a nutshell, Mr. Mohr makes an argument that people need to be essentially coddled into weight loss. He condemned Jillian Michaels for yelling denigrating comments to a nearly five hundred pound contestant on the show. For that, I have many thoughts.
Drill instructors (just like Sgt. Hartman) are in charge of moving soldiers through a rigorous training process. Self Esteem is not a concern; what matters are results.
In football, coaches are predominantly made of the same cloth. They yell and scream, and even demoralize players. Drawing from my own experiences, every coach I ever had, would frequently use ‘sissy’ or ‘pussy’ to describe an athlete at some point. Personally, I reacted by getting more pissed off, and more importantly, pushed myself to improve.
At Westside Barbell (a popular, but yet underground, gym), the coaches are known for their ability to, forcefully, churn out fierce competitors, and won’t exercise restraint when trying to motivate clients. The coaches there don’t allow excuses or complaints. These same coaches will mess with you until you are about to puke. They are known for making people push themselves to overcome sticking points. They cuss and scream.
Trainers/coaches are not supposed to be your friend. Plain and simple.
When you are over 50% body fat, then you need to get your ass wooped. You have made all the wrong choices with your eating, and now you have to learn a whole new school of thought. When you go from couch potato to a healthy lifestyle, you need a complete revolution in thinking. In the military, and in the same vein, you have to learn a whole new life philosophy. You need to get your ass wooped out of thinking for yourself. Sergeant Hartman suggests that the more you despise him, the more you will learn. This method works. This can cause a major evolution in thinking. It’s not personal either…just effective.
No excuses. If you want results, go get them. The biggest reason people fail at their fitness goals are the excuses. When the contestants get to the Biggest Loser Ranch, their life has been filled with one excuse after another. So why not allow Jillian Michaels to tear it up…and if you don’t like it you can quit and go back to the touchy feely way of pursuing your fitness goals.
I think Jillian uniquely helps people realize that you can’t get what you want out of life by making countless excuses. It is evident, that the Biggest Loser contestants dislike her while they train and then during the process, somewhere, they learn. When prodded with force, people will overcome their mental obstacles. The taste of success is what keeps people in the game.
I don’t feel as if Jillian Michaels is an icon of fitness training either. That’s like claiming that professional athletes are role models (a topic for another time). She is a trainer with her own style that resembles Sgt. Hartman. Your trainer may yell at you, but it is you that pushes yourself past the thoughts that tell you “I CAN’T”. Your trainer is not a life coach…there are therapists for that sort of thing.
My charter to you is: Go find a trainer that cusses at you like Jillian, train with them, and then go train with someone that is tender and cuddly…I will bet that you choose to work with the one that cusses the most. If you’re honest about how you arrived at your current situation, you will accept the punishment.
I am drafting a letter to Jillian too…
Dear Jillian, Thanks for having bigger testicles than most guys. If you get the inclination, could you call someone a maggot on the show…I just love it when other people get called maggots.
Sincerely,
Ntensity911
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
A Clint Eastwood Lesson On Manliness
“You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?”
No one on this planet could have been a more intimidating vigilante cop than Clint Eastwood.
I grew up watching many Eastwood movies I have seen nearly every single one of his feature films (One exception is “Bridges of Madison County”, but like a bad sex tape, I will just pretend that it doesn’t exist). Eastwood’s films have a timeless quality. I have continued to view Clint Eastwood as manliness, personified.
I developed some philosophies on manliness by the image that I have of Clint Eastwood. There are many guys in this nation that walk a thin line between total wuss and manly. So if you need to get it straight, then these Clint Eastwood lessons are for you.
Clint Eastwood does not…
1) …have a vagina.
2) …act like he has a vagina.
3) …dress like a woman under any circumstances.
4) …profess his undying passion, for anything, to his buddies.
5) …have his own show on HGTV.
6) …and will not, drive a minivan…EVER.
7) …eat ice cream cones.
8) …drink a Caramel Macchiato, or any dessert disguised as a coffee drink.
9) …drink fruity cocktails. Period.
10) …drink wine. It’s beer and whiskey only.
11) …cry for any reason, with exception to funerals of close relatives.
12) …share an umbrella with another man.
13) …tell another man that his fly is down.
14) …spot someone in the gym and say, “Yeah baby, push it!”
15) …watch men’s gymnastics or ice skating.
16) …wear a sports jersey as everyday casual attire.
17) …care about David Beckham or the freakin’ LA Galaxy.
18) …ever use European phrases like “Au Revoir”, “Al Vida Zein”, or “Ciao”.
19) …wear clothes that match his significant other. .
20) …think sex is boring.
21) …hug people.
22) …have entire conversations via SMS messaging.
23) …use terms like exfoliate.
24) …spend more time in the bathroom than a woman.
25) …go out to dance.
26) …fight naked.
27) …wear Speedos
28) …use every over-the-counter medication to treat the common cold.
29) …quit.
30) …read Blogs…
No one on this planet could have been a more intimidating vigilante cop than Clint Eastwood.
I grew up watching many Eastwood movies I have seen nearly every single one of his feature films (One exception is “Bridges of Madison County”, but like a bad sex tape, I will just pretend that it doesn’t exist). Eastwood’s films have a timeless quality. I have continued to view Clint Eastwood as manliness, personified.
I developed some philosophies on manliness by the image that I have of Clint Eastwood. There are many guys in this nation that walk a thin line between total wuss and manly. So if you need to get it straight, then these Clint Eastwood lessons are for you.
Clint Eastwood does not…
1) …have a vagina.
2) …act like he has a vagina.
3) …dress like a woman under any circumstances.
4) …profess his undying passion, for anything, to his buddies.
5) …have his own show on HGTV.
6) …and will not, drive a minivan…EVER.
7) …eat ice cream cones.
8) …drink a Caramel Macchiato, or any dessert disguised as a coffee drink.
9) …drink fruity cocktails. Period.
10) …drink wine. It’s beer and whiskey only.
11) …cry for any reason, with exception to funerals of close relatives.
12) …share an umbrella with another man.
13) …tell another man that his fly is down.
14) …spot someone in the gym and say, “Yeah baby, push it!”
15) …watch men’s gymnastics or ice skating.
16) …wear a sports jersey as everyday casual attire.
17) …care about David Beckham or the freakin’ LA Galaxy.
18) …ever use European phrases like “Au Revoir”, “Al Vida Zein”, or “Ciao”.
19) …wear clothes that match his significant other. .
20) …think sex is boring.
21) …hug people.
22) …have entire conversations via SMS messaging.
23) …use terms like exfoliate.
24) …spend more time in the bathroom than a woman.
25) …go out to dance.
26) …fight naked.
27) …wear Speedos
28) …use every over-the-counter medication to treat the common cold.
29) …quit.
30) …read Blogs…
Monday, September 14, 2009
The New Self
Most people that I know, in some way or another, are dissatisfied with how they look. I have been there too. At two points in my life, I had become distraught enough over my physical appearance to do something about it.
The first time I tried to get fit, I was in my early twenties, and I was supercharged to succeed. My mission was to be big and buff. I joined a city gym that was popular for spitting out more Golden Glove contenders than offspring from the Octomom. The place smelled like sweat through and through. This gym was host to some of the fittest people around town. I felt it was the best place for an up and coming bodybuilding superstar. I had ambition to see big changes. I trained threes days a week for two years. I ate massive amounts of food. I even ate raw eggs like Rocky Balboa (Yuck!). I gave myself daily pep talks. Day in and day out, I did these things to get bigger and stronger. Eventually though, I quit working out. I quit eating all the food, I quit giving myself pep talks, and I never became that superstar. The reason I quit altogether is that I felt that, inside and out, I was the same as I was two years prior. I had done all this work and spent money on food and supplements to get minimal results. I was still the same guy. I expected some type of revolutionary change. The revolution never came. For the twelve years that followed, I simply did not care to spend any time worrying about my health or physique.
A few years ago, I finally forced myself to get back to a gym and start working out. At the time, I wasn’t all that into it…I just didn’t feel like any hard work in the gym would amount to anything. However, I was paying for the membership, so I thought that I might as well get my money’s worth. I went to the gym and played with some weights, along with some cardio machines, and then I would pose/flex like a douche-bag in front of the mirror. This pattern continued for several weeks. Then one day, I went to the gym early one morning. That week had been a troubling week for me at home and at work. I decided to just take out my frustrations on the weights. So I killed it in the gym.
While I was killing it in the gym, a gym employee spotted me for several exercises. He didn’t say much, mostly nodded and observed. At the end of my workout, after I had just brought more intensity than ever before, and when I finally had nothing left, he said to me, “That’s it bro, find the new self!”
Bent over on a bench and out of breath, I thanked him for his help.
During the following days, I could not stop thinking about what he said to me. I was trying to interpret what he meant. It eluded me. And he did too, because I never saw him in the gym again.
Is there a “new self” inside me? That seems “New Age-y”, and yeah, kind of gay. I did find something; Intensity. It made me feel incredible.
Subsequently, each day, I was in pursuit of more intensity. My diet got more intense. My mental fortitude changed intensity. My workouts delivered more intensity. I even started giving myself intense pep talks before I worked out (In my head though, because if I gave myself out loud pep talks, someone might have called the cops). I wasn’t working out to be some superstar anymore. I was trying to be the best I could be in the gym. I gave all that I had to every rep. I worked out harder each time I went to gym. I even made myself puke a couple of times.
Through these years, I found the know-how. I found the passion. I found the discipline. I definitely found…The New Self.
The first time I tried to get fit, I was in my early twenties, and I was supercharged to succeed. My mission was to be big and buff. I joined a city gym that was popular for spitting out more Golden Glove contenders than offspring from the Octomom. The place smelled like sweat through and through. This gym was host to some of the fittest people around town. I felt it was the best place for an up and coming bodybuilding superstar. I had ambition to see big changes. I trained threes days a week for two years. I ate massive amounts of food. I even ate raw eggs like Rocky Balboa (Yuck!). I gave myself daily pep talks. Day in and day out, I did these things to get bigger and stronger. Eventually though, I quit working out. I quit eating all the food, I quit giving myself pep talks, and I never became that superstar. The reason I quit altogether is that I felt that, inside and out, I was the same as I was two years prior. I had done all this work and spent money on food and supplements to get minimal results. I was still the same guy. I expected some type of revolutionary change. The revolution never came. For the twelve years that followed, I simply did not care to spend any time worrying about my health or physique.
A few years ago, I finally forced myself to get back to a gym and start working out. At the time, I wasn’t all that into it…I just didn’t feel like any hard work in the gym would amount to anything. However, I was paying for the membership, so I thought that I might as well get my money’s worth. I went to the gym and played with some weights, along with some cardio machines, and then I would pose/flex like a douche-bag in front of the mirror. This pattern continued for several weeks. Then one day, I went to the gym early one morning. That week had been a troubling week for me at home and at work. I decided to just take out my frustrations on the weights. So I killed it in the gym.
While I was killing it in the gym, a gym employee spotted me for several exercises. He didn’t say much, mostly nodded and observed. At the end of my workout, after I had just brought more intensity than ever before, and when I finally had nothing left, he said to me, “That’s it bro, find the new self!”
Bent over on a bench and out of breath, I thanked him for his help.
During the following days, I could not stop thinking about what he said to me. I was trying to interpret what he meant. It eluded me. And he did too, because I never saw him in the gym again.
Is there a “new self” inside me? That seems “New Age-y”, and yeah, kind of gay. I did find something; Intensity. It made me feel incredible.
Subsequently, each day, I was in pursuit of more intensity. My diet got more intense. My mental fortitude changed intensity. My workouts delivered more intensity. I even started giving myself intense pep talks before I worked out (In my head though, because if I gave myself out loud pep talks, someone might have called the cops). I wasn’t working out to be some superstar anymore. I was trying to be the best I could be in the gym. I gave all that I had to every rep. I worked out harder each time I went to gym. I even made myself puke a couple of times.
Through these years, I found the know-how. I found the passion. I found the discipline. I definitely found…The New Self.
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